Fall of the Empire

Well I knew it was a matter of time before Asics discontinued its running shoe called the Empire. It was a niche shoe for guys like me who need all the arch support they can get. Anyway, today, I learned that the sun has set on the Asics Empire.

I had been running on the treadmill for a week straight. But yesteraday it was finally warm enough for my frostbitten face to be exposed long enough for a run outside. A treadmill really seems to absorb a lot of the shock my 180 pound body can throw at the ground. So it wasn't until I was running on a trail yesterday that it became very appearant to me that my shoes were flat, and it was time for a new pair.

This afternoon, I enjoyed a round of errands with Emily, which included a stop at Run N Fun so I could get another pair of Empires.

As an aside, Run N Fun is like Target for runners. They have so much stuff there, and so many deals, it is impossible to leave without making some sort of impulse or at least unplanned purchase. Case in point, Emily bought some shorts and I bought some $7 gel to put on my face to protect me from further frostbite. We had no intention of buying either of these items when we entered the store.

But as per usual, I digress. So, the shoe guy informed that the Empire was as good as gone. Asics had dropped the shoe, but has a new line of shoes, the 3000. He showed me that the 3000 is basically the Empire with a new name. So my feet are saved. But wait, there's more. He added that he also had some of the original Empires (now over two years old) in the basement he'd sell me for almost 50% off.

Not only, that he had three pairs in my size. Three pairs, at 50% off? Did I buy them all up? Does a bear... oh let's make this more topical. Does a squirrel hoard nuts in a tree?



It's hard to buy this many pairs of a discontinued item without bringing up The Sponge epsiode from Seinfeld

And I'd also like to add that picture verifies what Emily has been telling me all weekend. I need a haircut.

Katrina Inc.

I have ranted previously about the lip service pro sports pays to the re-building of New Orleans.

Now it's someone else's turn. Click here to read Buck Harvey's take on the NBA's PR campaign in New Orleans this weekend, as part of its All-Star Game festivities.

After reading the story, it seems like a lot of the players do want to help and do something, while the corporate side of the NBA doesn't care as long as it looks like its athletes are helping. But don't take my word for it. Below is an excerpt from Buck Harvey's column.

But that's part of the disconnect about this weekend. The NBA had its dunk contests and opulence, and at the same time the league wanted to portray itself as a civic partner.

The league helped post-Katrina New Orleans just by bringing the All-Star Game here. But the "NBA Cares" program has always had the sincerity of a political-campaign photo op, and a marketing idea added to that. Then the league mailed work gloves to the media, when a house in the 9th Ward could have been rebuilt for the price.

The gloves were to promote a Day of Service, which involved putting millionaires to work with cameras nearby. A picture of Jason Kidd on ESPN.com summed up the so-called service; standing on a ladder, Kidd was surrounded by, among other devices, a boom mic.

But some athletes like to be involved, and Yao Ming was...

Click here for the whole story. Oh yeah, and Spurs rule.

What Would Crap Look Like If It Took Steroids?

Who hasn't asked that question at some point in his or her life?

Well the answer is it would look like American Gladiators hosted by Hulk Hogan.

I went to the gym to run on a treadmill for the third day in a row, due to yet another cold snap here in Minnesota. In years past I would have just run outside, but I have developed some spots on my face that are frostbite prone, so running in the cold is to be avoided.

So today as i was running the television in front of me was showing American Gladiators. "This should make the next half hour go by fast," I thought to myself. It actually made the half hour feel like an hour. I was stuck watching the freaking NFL Pro Bowl nd a Lakers/Heat basketball game yesterday. Both, I thought were unwatchable. However, I'd take either one of those games over the new American Gladiators.

So far the best shows for treadmill running in my book are Wheel of Fortune and Law and Order. Both require only half your attention but are interesting.

Reason To Get Cable #23178 vs. Reason Not To Get Cable #4378

One reason to get cable...


Puppy Bowl IV on Animal Planet. Who will win?

vs.

One reason not to get cable...


Non-stop coverage on ESPN 17 of the arrogance and hubris that is pro football. Actually, Tom, you're only going to score 14 points.

What will end up doing? Cable or no cable?

Mikestradamus

Well that was a fun Super Bowl to watch. I am sure there are a handful of people out there celebrating how they predicted the Giants to win the whole time. Of course, no one can be happier or could have been more accurate than Plaxico Burress, the New York Giants wide receiver who a) caught the game winning touchdown and b) predicted earlier in the week his team would win 23-17, which caused the Patriots to mock his brashness.

The final score? Giants 17, Patriots 14. No one could have been more accurate than his prediction.

That being said, anyone can guess and sometimes get right the Super Bowl winner. In fact, some camel in New Jersey predicted nine of this year's 11 playoff games correctly, including the Giants win tonight over the Patriots.

Speaking of animals doing things that humans do....

The close reader of this blog will note that I inadvertently came absurdly close to predicting the outcome of tonight's Budweiser commercial. I'm talking about the ad where a dalmation trains a clydesdale to get in good enough shape to become a Budweiser clydesdale (set to Rocky music). In the end, the horse makes the Budweiser team, and ends up giving the dog a high five.

Those of you who know me well, or have read my rants before, know I hate, hate, hate ads that have animals acting like people. It's trite, overdone, and quite frankly, really lazy writing on behalf of the ad agencies. Yet people must love these ads because they continue.

So, I ranted about this before, and in that rant, I almost incidentally predicted the dog on horse high-five. See for yourself. Seventh sentence/fragment. Third paragraph. It's all there. Back then I even made it one of the labels for the post, just as I did for this one. Granted, I never said "horses high fiving a dog," but I came about as close in my prediction as Plaxico did in prediction of the score.

This would be from October 4, 2007

I can't stand commercials with animals acting like people. I blame CGI and the Super Bowl for the mainsteaming of this style of TV advertising

This evening during 30 Rock or The Office there was some ad with a bunch of monkies riverdancing. Really? Is that the best our creative talent, earning six figures can do?

I left the room half way through the ad. I did this in part out of protest, but also to get some more food. So I don't know what the ad was about. But it doesn't matter. Cheetas doing the macarena. HORSES HIGH FIVING. Penguins riding their Harlies to Sturgis. A squirrel farts and points to the squirrel next to him to pass the blame. It took me 30 seconds to come up with those ideas. They all suck, but some hybrid of these ideas will air during our next Super Bowl. When will it stop?!?!?!

Me and Plaxico. We should go into the psychic business with Dionne Warwick.

Big Time Indeed

Congratulations to Zander and his partners in crime for being listed in Metro Magazine's "best blog" list.

Specifically, they got best comic blog.

If Metro Magazine ever has a category for "Least Read Blog About Running, Eating, and Other Random Shit No One Cares About," I think I may have a chance of making their list as well.

Until then, I'm just happy for my friend Zandypants.

Stone Age Evaneglist

Ed over at Technology Evangelist has some questions he wants answered.

You want the truth? You can't handle the truth! As a technology evangelist, Ed may be horrified that I still live in a world of paper (in fact part of the reason I am typing this entry is I am putting off all the paper shredding I have to do).

Here are the questions.

When was the last time you:

1. Watched a friend buy a newspaper so he could browse the classifieds? You got me on the one. September 1996. The "friend" was me. I had just moved to the Twin Cities and needed a job.

2. Heard a land-line phone ring at a friend's house? Again, that friend would be me. I answered a phone on my land line 30 minutes ago. Only it was an automated phone call with a recorded voice telling me to vote for Ron Paul because if he's President, he'll get rid of the IRS.

And about an hour before that, Emily got a call from Fancy Kirk on the land line. Now the reason for that is because Kirk knows I lost my cell phone again. And this is why I love the land line. It is a needed back-up for me since I'm always losing that damn cell phone.

3. Heard a dial-up modem connect? Yikes. That is a good one. We used to have dial-up about five years ago. Pre-blogging days. But I can't remember if it made the dial-up noise.

4. Watched someone go to a bank teller to withdrawal cash? That would also be me. The bank in Iowa City that I used had mirrors behind the tellers. So I would say the answer is I saw myself withdraw some cash to close out my Iowa City checking account in the summer of 1996.

5. Bought a book on a computing related topic? I personally last bought a book about anything computer related when I was in either junior high or high school. It was a booklet about how to make it through the 50 hardest levels of   Championship Lode Runner. Matt the Hatt you out there? Jones? You guys may remember how obsessed I was with that game. I think I even wrote a short story based on the premise of that game. Yeah I was pretty cool back then.

But Emily did buy Blogging by Biz Stone about five years ago, which got her and then me into blogging. I'm sure that book is so very outdated and altogether unnecesarry.

6. Used the printed Yellow Pages? I use the White Pages (business section) all the time at work because they are in my office. I am too lazy to log onto the computer to use the web to look up a number. But I did use the Yellow Pages over the summer to find a junkyard to take away my dead 1988 Accord.

7. Received a link from a friend with driving directions from MapQuest? This may be worse than receiving a link: Last Sunday we went to a party and the invitation was two pieces of paper, with the second page being a MapQuest generated map of where the house was.

In terms of actually linking to Mapquest, I personally linked quite a bit when I was coaching the MDRA marathon training program over the summer of 2007. I didn't use the "tinyurl" thing until Ed taught me how. That's how prehistoric I am.

8. Turned on the TV rather than going to the web for more information on a breaking news story? I-35W bridge collapse.  Or the Iowa Caucus, if you consider the results a "breaking news" story.  I did go on-line for New Hampshire primary results.

9. Watched a full hour of television with commercials? Wednesday night. Law & Order.

10. Bought music on a CD? Three months ago? But that probably will be the last time.

Another good question to ask, when is the last time you paid a utility bill, mortgage bill, or credit card bill by mailing in a check? 

Oh well, I should get back to my shredding.